Good News

Posted to the Desmodian Group that we are a part of. Just wanted to keep this for my records as well. We got some good news today....

My husband had a routine CT scan yesterday to check the size of his abdominal tumor. First of all, the stress of those is sometimes just TOO MUCH! Anywhoo..... Results are in and his tumor has continued to shrink since December! I am so thankful for this! He has had a very long road over the last 18 months. He came close to dying three different times. His isn't resectable due to being up against his mesenteric artery, and so when it grew quite quickly, he had 28 rounds of radiation and finished August 18th of last year. The radiation caused major internal bleeding and he had 21 units of blood transfused as a result. He hasn't bled for 6 months now and is continuing to gain strength. He's been back to work for 5 weeks after not being able to work since July. He started Tamoxifen back in September and will remain on that. Overall, his tumor has shrunk about 40%.

I guess what I want to say is this... Don't loose hope. We have been down some very scary roads, even more then I posted about. Some days are hard. Some days you want to throw in the towel and punch the wall. But some days, like today, there's a glimmer of hope that something is working. I continue to pray for everyone here who deals with these beastly things. It's a hard thing to deal with. Most people will never understand just how hard it is. I'm so thankful for this group. I have learned so much from you all and want to thank you for all the support you show to everyone here. We truly are a family. Much love to you all. 

One year.

One year ago today (Sept. 24th), our lives forever changed. One year ago Jared's tumor was discovered and he was rushed into emergency surgery to save his life from a tumor that completely blocked his small intestine. A desmoid tumor that is still in him because of the location and the risks of bleeding out in order to remove it. It's been one year of recoveries from major surgery to redirect his intestines around the tumor, sepsis, infection after infection inside the tumor because of the biopsies and the "communication" between the tumor and his colon due to the fistula connecting it, 18 days in the hospital the first month, biopsies, 2 PICC lines, chemo pill for six months, tumor growing, 28 radiation treatments, and now, one year later, bleeding internally from the radiation. Since August 18th, he's spent 14 days in the hospital with bleeding, 8 blood transfusions, and is now starting one month of feedings through IV only to hopefully stop the bleeding once and for all by giving his intestines a rest. On this year mark, we are still in the hospital. It's been a long year, yet it's been a super crazy, fast whirlwind at the same time.

But the blessings we have seen, the prayers we have felt that have lifted us in ways we cannot explain, our testimonies that have grown, and the closeness we have felt as our little family has gone through this is something we could not have learned in any other way. I know God is mindful of us. He has a plan. It is not an easy plan, but it will bring us back to Him if we take these trials and do our best with them. When we face these trials with faith and hope and still look for the good in life, He makes up the difference. He carries us. I am so thankful to all of you who have prayed and fasted for Jared and for our family. These prayers do not go unnoticed. We have felt them everyday since this whole thing started September 24, 2015 at 12:25 p.m.. And thank you for the countless ways you have served us. We pray for you all to be as blessed as we have felt.

Now on to year two. May it bring a better year for Jared with good health and strength.

Hunter: "Mom, where's your impendix?"
Me: (chuckling) "Do you mean your appendix?"
Hunter: "Ya."
Me: "Do you have pains? Show me where first and I'll tell you."
He points to the very front of his belly and then tells me it started right after I made him eat some soup he hates.
I showed him where his appendix is and told him he should be ok and to take it easy.

Impendix.
I love it!

Cody: "I'm lucky."
Me: "Why?"
Cody: "Because with how old you are, you are still nice. Old people are usually mean, but you are still nice."
Me (laughing!): "Ha ha! Well, thanks Cody!"

He always cracks me up!
He has been the sweetest kid to me on my birthday this year. He text me happy birthday right at 6:30 this morning when his alarm went off. Then more through the day. Lots of hugs later on and then a sweet, thoughtful present from him - 90 tulip bulbs and mint truffles from Costco. My favorite!!
Love that kid!!!

Cody Caught the Bug, Too

Cody was asked to bring a story about one of his ancestors for Sunday School today. I gave him my book that Mom and Uncle Ron put together and he found an ancestor he wanted to talk on - Aunt Mame. After class he told me he has to teach the lesson on how to do family history next week. I asked him if he knows how and he said no but that they gave him a couple websites to look up. After church he told me he created an account on one of the websites. He then told me how much he really likes family history and wants to start doing it.

Yes!!

He was so sincere. He said again he really likes it. I told him there's a special feeling with family history and he said he knows, he can feel it, too.

The Spirit of Elijah.

I love it!!!!!!!!

He Caught the Bug!

Hunter: "We learned about the pioneers and heard some pioneer stories in primary today. I want to learn more pioneer stories and about our ancestors. It's pretty cool!"

Me: "That's awesome! I love the pioneers. They have a special place in my heart. I love learning about them. I have a book that Grandma Kenison and my Uncle Ron put together of some of our ancestors. You can look at it and learn about them. There's some stories in there."

Hunter: "No, Mom, there's a website that you go on. It's something Jesus. I can't remember the website name. But it tells you all about our ancestors and stories. We are related to....um....not Joseph Smith, but..."

Me: "Brigham Young?"

Hunter: "Yes! We are related to Brigham Young."

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that Hunter has caught the bug. I love family history and learning about our ancestors and where we come from. I am SO excited he wants to learn more about them.

Guess I need to check if we are related to Brigham Young now. :)

Planting Flowers

Hunter has been off track now for a week and a half. On days that I work, he goes to school with me and works all day in the library. The librarians absolutely love him and he is a great help to them. He knows how to check in and out books, restock shelves, aid in putting up new bulletin boards, and has helped rearrange shelves and deep clean the library. He loves being there and begs to go in even on my days off.

So naturally, when I have Wednesdays and Thursdays off, you can imagine how bored he gets being the only kid home. Today seemed to drag for Hunt. We ran a few errands which bored him the whole time, and once we got home, he sat in front of the tv because he couldn't think of anything else to do.

I somehow talked him into planting flowers with me. We had ran to Shopko and bought some flowers with a good coupon I had, and now we need to get them into the ground. It took some coaxing, but he finally came out. His job was to dig the whole the flowers were to be planted in. He chose that job and ended up having some fun doing it. We had planted about 3-4 different flowers when he started talking about the dead people underneath. I thought he was asking if there were dead people buried here, but he quickly explained that every time we planted a flower, it was for the dead person they had just buried. Apparently we were planting a cemetery, Ha ha!

Oh, this kid has quite the imagination!

Our Spiritual Giant

Cody said our prayer tonight before bed. In it he said...

"Thank you for letting us live in the country where we can study this religion and act upon it."

Cody is such a spiritual giant. He always has been. From the time he learned how to pray, he wanted to always say them without help. I remember when he was about two, I was laying in bed next to him as he said his prayer before bed all by himself. I remember thinking, 'He could be our next prophet.' He is very in tune to the spirit. I love that about him. He is such a good kid.

Clever Hunter

Hunter received his Arrow of Light tonight, and because of it, I gave him a liter of Coke. He was so excited!

Being the youngest, he knows his brothers will take what is rightfully his, so he has to get clever. As he was getting ready for bed, I looked over to see Hunter ripping the wrapper off his Coke and writing the words 'Hunter's Oil' and then drew a poison sign on it. Ha ha!

This kid is always coming up with some new clever idea.

I love it!

I love listening to Hunter sing in the shower. It has to be one of my favorite things!

He doesn't know we can hear him, which makes it even better. He sings everything from Maroon 5, to Katy Perry, to Meghan Trainor. You'll know what his favorite songs are or the ones he's listened to today because those are the ones he sings. And you know what? He's really good!! I remember when he was about 4 years old. I brought him along to go Visiting Teaching with me. As we walked into a particular house, Hunter was singing. The lady stopped us in our tracks and listened to Hunter. She said, 'He is really good! And, he has a perfect pitch!' That was the first time I realized just how good he was.

Hunter loves music. He loves to sing, he loves the beat, and he loves to dance. He reminds me so much of my brother, John. John taught himself to play the piano and guitar. He's been in a couple of bands and has written his own music before. I remember when Uncle Ron took Jamie, John and I to Zion's National Park. It was the August before I got married, so Jamie was about 16 and John was about 12. We saw this cool movie while we were down there about elephants. About 3 months after our trip, John sat down at the piano and played the song from that movie. That's when we realized John had a special gift.

Makes me wonder how music will play a part in Hunter's life. He and John are SO much alike!!

You know you are loved when you find your 10-year-old in the kitchen making pudding for you and your husband to take with you to the doctor the next day for lunch. Hunter made us chocolate pudding and was hand beating it together with an egg whisk. Not a normal round whisk, but an egg whisk with only 4 metal loops that break up the yolks and whip the eggs together with. It's really only good for eggs or gravy, but it was the cutest thing seeing Hunter standing there mixing it up in a huge white bowl; a bowl big enough to hold 8 times the amount of pudding he was making. :)

He asked what else we wanted for lunch tomorrow so he could pack it up for us. My heart melted. It was hard telling him that we'd probably be home for lunch so he didn't need to pack anything. It didn't bother him. He just put some aluminum foil over the pudding, stuck it in the fridge, and went on his way, proud that he could help make his dad something for lunch when he knows we are meeting with the doc about the chemo plan he is now looking at.

Later on I snuck the bowl of pudding out of the fridge and put it into a smaller bowl so I had more room to put something else in there. As I was scooping it out of the big white bowl, I noticed it wasn't quite all the way mixed. Again, my heart melted for that cute boy I get to call my son. So I stirred it up a little more, poured it into another dish, and had a taste, or two, or three, of his yummy pudding. I love when he does this stuff for us. He sure feels big when he makes his pudding. :)

The Mess-Up

We've started reading the Book of Mormon with our boys this year. Each night we try to read a chapter. Everyone takes turns reading. Tonight it was Cody's turn. It didn't exactly start out as reverent as you might want it to go, and things quickly escalated. He began reading like he was on stage and then the mess-up came.

We were reading in 1 Nephi 13:10 "And it came to pass that I looked and beheld many waters; and they divided the Gentiles from the seed of my brethern."

That's how it's supposed to read.

Cody read: "And it came to pass that I looked and beheld any waters; and they divided the genitals ..."

Oh my, you should have heard the laughter come out of that one! We all about died! And then it escalated even more. Cody began switching up his accents as he read, with laughter from the peanut gallery following every word he emphasized in some weird accent. It wasn't the most reverent reading, that's for sure, but it was fun and memorable.

I love these crazy, wild boys of ours.

I realized something tonight. I do the arthritic hand rub I would always see my dad do. The one where you rub one hand over the other in a sideways motion over the knuckles. I've been doing this for a few years now, but much more than I care to admit this year. And once the rub is done, fingers are massaged and then kind of held by the other hand all the while hoping this will somehow take the pain away.

The year I turned 30, I began noticing the arthritis had started in my hands. First it started in my pinky fingers, then almost year by year, it crept through the rest of the fingers; the ring finger being next and so on. My grip has lessened and I've noticed I drop a lot more things this year. My hands swell, and my knuckles are definitely getting bigger. My hands look like old lady's hands already with this and the lovely dry skin I have. The arthritis is prevalent throughout all the knuckles, and now, my middle finger and pointer finger will feel like they are trying to curve over at times; almost like they are trying to twist right around. I know what this is. Or so I feel like I do. Rheumatoid arthritis. My dad's side of the family has it terribly in their hands. My grandma and almost all her sisters had the crippling type that left big knuckles and their fingers twisted in ways you never want to see fingers go; almost a wave like look to them like the ocean had caused them to curve over. When I think of the Thackers side (my Grandma Kenison's side), their hands are one of the things that I remember most. My mom's side has rheumatoid arthritis as well, but not as crippling as my dad's.

I remember about 4-5 years back. Jim and my dad stopped by for a minute in Jim's truck. It was spring time and warm enough that we only had to wear jackets at night. I walked out to the truck to say hi to dad and I saw him rubbing his hands. He'd said he was having a lot of trouble with them with lots of pain and swelling. I looked down at his hands and was shocked at how swollen they were. It was like he was wearing a fat suit that included his hands. They were so puffy, it almost looked fake. He could barely make half a fist. He didn't know why they all of a sudden became so bad, but I could tell it was miserable for him. It was hard for him to work and use the tools he needed to to repair the machines. I asked him to go to the doctor and he said he had decided he needed to. Aunt Kathy was on a trial pill that was working well for her. She wanted dad to get on it, but he never did. He ended up taking some kind of inflammation reducer and it did help. His swelling went way down and he could work without hurting as much. Dad became my arthritis buddy. I've had arthritis in my knees since I was a teenager. In fact, when I had a surgery at 17, the doc said he had "cleaned up" the arthritis, so who knows when I actually started to get it. Dad and I would compare pains and ask how the other one was doing. We'd predict storms coming and I tell you what.... we were right. Dad always knew what to say to comfort me when we'd take about arthritis and I'd tell him how it was moving in on me more. I miss that. I miss how strong he was and would work through the pain no matter what. He always inspired me and continues to, to just keep going. He was the one who told me why I couldn't make fists in the morning. I'd wake up and it was like my hands wouldn't work for a bit after I'd wake up. This started in my early 20's, but I didn't say anything to anyone except Jared. They were so weak, I could barely hold on to or pick up things. It was the arthritis. Dad's did the same thing. Aunt Kathy told me at the luncheon after dad's funeral that she would be my new arthritis buddy. Sadly, I know Aunt Kathy knows what arthritis pain is like, too. We Kenison's are lucky enough to be plagued with this, I guess.

It just hit me as I was doing "the rub", how for years I'd see my dad do the same thing. I'd see him rub his knuckles as he was sitting in his chair watching tv. I see him do the rub as he was working and would take a break as he'd let his hands rest. I'd see it as I was cutting his hair. He always seemed to be rubbing his hands. Somehow it makes it feel like there's one small thing we can do to relieve the pain, when honestly, there is absolutely nothing they can do for it other than mask the pain somewhat with a pill. It doesn't take the crippling part away, however.

I subconsciously have been doing this for a few years now, and tonight I realized another connection I have with my dad. The arthritic rub.

I miss my arthritis buddy.

Hunter was looking through some of my keepsakes from my childhood/teenage years. After finding something he really liked, the tiny porcelain kitty, he came to me and asked...

"Mom, when you die, can I have this?"

I just looked at him and said, "Thanks Hunter."

He laughed and said, "Well, can I just have this someday?"


As the boys were going to bed tonight, I overheard Hunter tell T.J. and Cody,

"When mom dies, I'm getting her little kitty."

Cody, to my defense, says, "Um, can we not discuss this? It's weird. It's weird to think about our parents dying someday."

Goodness, I think Hunter really wants that little cat. Maybe I should just give it to him before he puts a pox on me. Ha ha!

Hunter: "Mom? What's pooberty?"
Me: "Um, why?"
Hunter: "Cause I want to know so I know what they're talking about on (the movie) Inside Out."

Ha ha! Oh that kid!

Do you know what you get when you have a colonoscopy? You get to choose whatever you want for dinner the next night. Jared chose chicken strips with homemade honey mustard sauce, fries, macaroni and cheese and salad. Yes, it took two and a half hours to make, but I'd do anything for him. And, it's really yummy!!!!

Recipe curtesy of Paula Deen's Chicken Strips from her Lady and Sons Restaurant.

It's super delicious!!!

The Start of Treatments...

We met with Jared's radiation oncologist today. It's ironic and was quite humbling to realize that we were meeting at the exact office I bring my mom to for her radiation oncologist. But I won't get into that feeling this morning.

While we were waiting to be called back, the receptionist came over and informed us that we were to meet his oncologist upstairs at 12:40, after meeting with this first doctor. Looked to be a long visit at the hospital today.

The visit with the radiation oncologist went well. He told us that the biopsy Jared had on the 10th showed this to be a Desmoid tumor, but a few of the cells were actually staining to show a GIST tumor. Crazy, but they are still thinking this to be a desmoid. The first option to treat this is surgery, but he's already had that and it proved to be non-resectable. The second is radiation. This can cause a lot of side effects, which include diaherra, pain and inflammation in the intestines, and scar tissue that can make a surgery down the road more difficult, so really, we don't want to do surgery yet. The third is the chemo pill. At first they wanted Jared to participate in a study for this, but with finding that some cells showed this to be a GIST, there is another form of chemo pill that actually will treat both a Desmoid and a GIST. So this is the first step in fighting this, and then if radiation is needed down the road, that is an option. Radiation has proven effective in shrinking these, but with the location of Jared's, there are just too many side effects to jump in as the first type of treatment. He looked at Jared's scar and was surprised at how big it was, how raised, and how hard it was. He was wondering if Jared has some sort of gene that makes it to where his body scares a lot. Desmoids are like a scar tissue tumor. They grow in the tissues that make ligaments and tendons and are really a bunch of scar tissue that just keeps multiplying. He said if Jared has this, it would explain the desmoid tumor, but after looking at some other scares Jared has, he's not sold on that idea. Jared has to have a colonoscopy and some genetic testing to look for Gardner's syndrome, which is linked to colon cancer. His tumor is connected some to his large intestine, so they want to rule this out. Plus, we need to know if they should be watching Jared closely for colon cancer and if our boys are at risk for this. All this should take place over the next few weeks.

We met with Dr. Nibbley afterwards. We talked more in detail about this type of tumor. There are really no side effects with these two types. He said the anxiety Jared had a couple years ago that lasted about 6 months could be related, but there are no known relations that he knows of. He said tumors can do weird things, so it might be from that but we'll never know. He said they are for sure doing the chemo pill that is called Glevo. They'll watch Jared real close at first with blood tests to make sure his liver and kidneys can handle this, but usually the side effects are minimal. He said side effects are usually muscle aches and you might feel a little blah. People get used to it, and it's usually when they go off the pill, that they realize they do feel better without it. He said this is a type of pill that, if it works, he can stay on it as long as he needs to. This type of pill is also used to treat a type of leukemia. There's someone who has been on this pill since it came out 12 1/2 years ago and it's still working for her. That was very hopeful to hear! This treatment is one pill a day, but costs around $2,000 a month. Their office is checking with our ins. to see what our copay will be, and if it's still high, they'll figure ways to help get it down. We should be looking at getting his first prescription filled and him starting it in about a week. We are finally to this point!!!!!!! Doc said he knows it might seem like we've waisted a lot of time and have to back track now trying to make up for time lost without treatments, but with this type of tumor, it doesn't matter. This pill would take care of whatever might have grown in the last few months. We weren't worried about that at all, but I know some others have been. He said it looks as though this tumor has grown a little since his first original Ct scan back on Sept. 24th, but they think it's because it's inflamed a little and has a small pocket of air inside from the surgery and biopsy. The air should receed on it's own. Jared doesn't have the aggressive type of tumor. His is definitely slow growing!!!

All together we were at the hospital for 3 hours. We spent a lot of time talking to both doctors and having things explained to us more. It was really nice! It's nice to be able to get more answers and have a plan of how to fight this. The doctors are hopeful as well that they will be able to stop this, but even shrink it. I know it has taken a long time to get these answers, but some things just take time. Dr. Nibbley knew this was a slow growing tumor and would tell Jared he wanted him healed from the surgery and sepsis first before he really had to jump into more tests. Plus, today he said that we really didn't loose time with this. It wouldn't have mattered if he'd started treatments now verses a month ago. That was also nice to hear. Doc said it was good we could come in today, otherwise he was going to have us come in on Christmas Eve. I'm glad we got the news today. We are able to celebrate Christmas even more with having our minds at ease much more.

It's so exciting being to this point! I gave him a kiss and hug in the elevator as we left.  :)

Jared and I went to Arby's to celebrate. There still aren't a lot of restaurants he can eat yet. Arby's hasn't made him sick yet, so this is one place he likes to go. He got a huge roast beef sandwich and a salad. I got a reg. roast beef, a salad, and small fries that we shared. Jared also drank a few sips of Mountain Dew. This is the first time he's had pop since we were camping. He has to be careful about putting too much air in his bowels from the carbonation. Let's just say it was pretty hard on his system. He could hardly sit still with all the air that built over over a few minutes. But hey, now he's had pop! He's just staying away from it now.  :)

We ran errands afterwards to try and finish things up for Christmas. We didn't get home until 3:40ish. For leaving at 10:30, we were a lot longer than expected. I'm running out of time to get ready for Christmas, but that's the least of my worries today. I couldn't stop smiling, I had such a peaceful feeling and still feel like everything will be ok. I'm so thankful to have Jared in my life. He is my bestest friend. I am so in love with that guy.

What Cancer Does...

Cancer is stupid.

It tries to control you. It tries to take your peace and happiness away. It tries to change everything you know and throw a lot of unknown crap your way.

I'm not getting my presents for mom, Carrie, and Aunt Kathy finished this year. This is the second year in a row that they aren't done and it's all because of cancer.

It's a really special thing to me that I've wanted to make them. It's a sewing project that says, "It isn't happy people who are thankful, it's thankful people who are happy." It's an 11x14" size. I started these last year (making one for me as well), but ended up putting my sewing projects away for four months because we found out dad had cancer and died 6 days after his diagnosis. I didn't want to sew anymore. I was at the hospital working on this sewing project as dad was in having an MRI done at Riverton hospital when I got the call from Dr. Gilbert saying they got the biopsy results and it was, in fact, cancer. I put my project into my sewing box and didn't get it out until the first part of October. There was too much to do with funeral arrangements and such. And then taking care of filling dad's retirement, military stuff, and such, and I plain just didn't want to sew. That's what I was doing when my world turned upside down for a while. It didn't exactly have the best memories attached to it.

Once I picked my sewing up again, I marked the spot where I had stopped when that call came, and decided this exact one I was working on would be mine. It would show the mark where dad had died, and then my continuing on as I worked through a difficult time in my life. Sewing became very special to me again, so once again, I decided that this would be my project over the next year as I worked to finish these for Christmas of 2015.

Things were going along pretty well. I was almost completely done with the lettering in brown thread on the fourth and last one when my world got flipped upside down yet again by cancer. Jared had emergency surgery Sept. 24th due to a cancerous tumor that had completely blocked off his small intestines. This was a complete shock to us. He spent a week in the hospital, was home two days and then went back in with sepsis and spent another week there. Once he was home, he spent 5 days before he was back in again for another four due to another infection. Jared had a close call with loosing his life twice. We lived at the hospital 18 days. Once again, my life stopped as we focused on what was most important. My husband and our three boys. Nothing else mattered.

My husband has cancer. Seriously, how do you process this?

I'll tell ya. You take it one day at a time. You pray your heart out and then pray some more. You never give up hope. You rely on your faith and the prayers and fasting of others. Feeling the prayers of others is one of the neatest experiences we've had through this. The power of prayer is real. And because of it, we've made it through the last three months. Miracles can happen, and we've witnessed many. My sewing was set aside for a couple months, but was once again picked up. The only thing though, is it will once again be left for next year's gifts, but maybe now it will be for birthdays. Because of cancer and how crazy our lives became, I've misplaced the pattern and one of the actual sewing projects. I've been stressing over finding this the last week so I could get them finished, but tonight I've decided that I don't care anymore. I'm not going to stress over three presents. I'll just buy something for each one of them and enjoy this week with my family instead. Because of prayers and fasting, we've been given a very special gift this year. Jared's biopsy he had just over a week ago actually worked! We finally know what type of cancer he has so they can start treatments. Past biopsies and tests would show inconclusive, and the next step was a more invasive surgery with another 6-8 week recovery. His surgery was cancelled for this past Wednesday which means we got our Christmas with our boys back! What more could I ask for?! So forget stressing over presents, I'm going to be happy and enjoy these next 5 days with our kids, playing and doing what we normally do as a family.

Do you know what cancer does? It can ruin your life if you let it. We all have choices though, and I choose to see the good. I choose to use faith. I choose to look for blessings that come from my Father in Heaven. We all have trials to go through in life. How we choose to handle them and learn from them is what matters. Cancer is not going to break me. It's not going to take my holidays with my family away. I know we're going to have more trials to face that come from having cancer, but I'm going to enjoy the good when we have it. And when we are going through those hard times, I'm going to pray with all my heart for more good times to come.

After we have family prayer at night, someone reads a scripture. Tonight Jared read us two scriptures, Mosiah 23: 21-22

21. "Nevertheless the Lord teeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trite their patience and their faith."

22. "Nevertheless-whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people."

And then he read this quote to us that he had inside his scriptures:

"Patience is not indifference. Actually, it is caring very much, but being willing, nevertheless, to submit both to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the 'process of time'.

"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best - better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God's omniscience, as is as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship...

"We read in Mosiah about how the Lord simultaneously tries the patience of his people even as he tries their faith (Mosiah 23:21). One is not only to endure - but to endure well and gracefully those things which the Lord 'seeth fit to inflict upon us' (Mosiah 3:19),...

"The Lord has said twice: 'And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life' (D&C 101:38). Could it be that only when our self-control has become total do we come into true possession of our own souls?"

-Neal A. Maxwell

I absolutely loved this quote and the scriptures he read tonight. It hit me in so many ways. With all Jared is going through right now and patience being something he is supposed to learn from this trial (he's had a few priesthood blessings that has mentioned this.), it gave me a different perspective about patience and what it really is. And, with so many wondering how I can have so much patience and not freak out that we still don't know what type of cancer he has and how long his recovery process has been, I connected with this quote in a much different way. I've been blessed with faith and peace. My patriarchal blessing has told me this. I believe this is why I've been able to take one day at a time and have peace in my heart, because I have and always try to exercise faith. Does this mean I don't struggle? No. I still break down at times and cry, but I go on afterwards and continue to have faith in the outcome of someday. I feel so blessed to have this gift in my life. Faith is absolutely amazing if we can allow ourselves to really use it the way we are instructed to.

Quotes From Hunter

Hunter was talking to Cody and T.J. in the car as we drove to Army Navy Store. Here's some classic quotes from him:

It's the day after thanksgiving and we are out doing our Christmas shopping. We had just picked up Hunter from McDonald's with grandma and Heather to come shopping with us, and grabbed us something to eat as well. As we were driving and talking about McDonald's food, Hunter piped up saying...
"McDonald's has never been gross for me." Ha ha!

And then, during the same car ride and out of the blue, this came out of him....

Hunter: "Have you noticed when your a grandpa, your brothers don't hang out with you anymore? Isn't that weird?"
(He then compared that to Grandpa Kenison and how he didn't see his brothers very much.)

This kid. He cracks us up. You never know what he'll come up with next. It's so fun to see how he views things.

Through the eyes of a child...