Some days a good cry is in order, and today is definitely one of those. I started back at the school officially today. I now work as an aid doing Power Hour in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade. I lucked out and got both Cody's teacher this year and Hunter's. I get to do art in both, and then Power Hour in Hunter's.
Or so I thought.
One of the first things I heard after walking in to Hunter's classroom, is his teacher saying, "Ya unfortunately Hunter won't be in here when you come. He's in Mrs. F.....'s class all morning for Language Arts." (I left her name out on purpose.)
Last week Hunter was telling me he's now in Mrs. F's class every morning so he won't see me. I told him I'd talk to his teacher and find out what is going on. Apparently, it's true. After showing me the work I'd do every day in there, I asked if I could talk to her about this switching classrooms issue. She said since they are on the same track, they decided to split the kids up. She takes the higher bunch, and Mrs. F takes the lower. I told her - and I'm hoping I can trust her with it - that Hunter was placed in Mrs' F's class but I immediately took him out. I'm worried about his self esteem being in there, because I've personally watched her completely destroy a young girl's self-esteem by saying as loud as she could that she was the dumbest one in the whole class.
And now my kid is in there.
She said to let her know if it gets to that point, but she didn't seem like she really cared or showed much sympathy. It is what it is, and that's it. She said they split it up so each teacher could teach on the level more suitable for that child. She said Hunter is one of the lowest in her class. She absolutely loves his personality and wishes she could have 30 of him because he listens so well, but he's really struggling.
I know he's struggling. I've known something wasn't right since kindergarten. We're trying. Last year it wasn't uncommon for us to do 2 hours of homework a night with him. But he has improved. I've seen it. He doesn't qualify for resource. He's reading better and faster. But he's still one of the lowest.
Working in that classroom that whole hour was hard. I was checking over students work that I thought "Why are they in here? What aren't they in with Hunter, too? They can't stay on track. And he was on the same reading level last year in second as Hunter. Why?"
I could have cried the whole hour I was in there.
I'm praying this actually turns out to be a good thing. I'm praying he has the self-esteem to realize he is a good kid, and is doing the best he can. He already struggles with his self-esteem though. He knows he has a harder time then other kids. Sometimes he stops during homework to cry and say he's dumb. He doesn't think he can be a teacher someday because of this. It breaks my heart. A friend of mine got this classroom to work in. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow and ask that she just keeps an eye on how it's going in there. Plus, there's a sweet lady that subs all the time who is helping often in there as well. I know her, and she's helped give advice and the flash cards for reading that we use. She just gave them to us. I'm hoping that between my friend, and this sweet lady, that it turns out to be OK. Actually, more then OK. I'm praying he loves it. And that he comes out on top at the end of the year.
But for now, I want to cry. I just don't understand how a teacher can talk to kids like this and get away with it. And now my Hunter is in there.