I can't wait for this week to be over. I can't wait for the holidays to be over with. Usually I love the holiday season, but this year has been rough. Really rough. I'm warning you now, I'm going to vent. And complain. And I'm sorry.
It's been so emotional around here. With our cute neighbor, Frank, dying on Christmas, and now our horse, Scout, who is probably going to die through the night, I'm a wreck right now. I should go to bed, but I need to write. Sometimes that's the only thing I can do to get my feelings out and deal with them. Plus I have to be careful around my kids. Cody is a wreck with Scout dying. He's been crying all day since Jared told him he's dying. He's such an animal lover and Scout was pretty much his horse. He spent a good part of the night outside with Scout, crying and praying for him. Giving him hugs. It's so hard to hear him tell me he was doing this. I cried inside as he told me he was out with Scout when we couldn't find him. He didn't want us to know he was crying. My poor Cody. He's the sweetest kid. And he has the worst luck with animals. He's already lost one horse to colic. Another to Moon Blindness. And now Scout. And he's only 8. Tonight in his prayers, he prayed that Scout would die. Or get better. But if he dies, that our other horses won't have a hard time getting used to Scout not being there. Again, made me cry. Cody said he's going to miss how Scout grinds his teeth. Cody tries to grind his teeth, too, to be like him. I loved how Scout would bite the gate out back. He's completely bent the pipe in half with this addiction. He has a funny personality about him with his teeth.
Jared moved Scout over to his parents tonight so we could put him by himself so the other horses wouldn't bother him. I just got back from going over there to check on him. I went by myself. Made the boys go to bed. Poor Scout is not good at all. He keeps looking back at his stomach, telling me he doesn't feel good. He could barely stand to try and stretch his stomach out, took about 4 steps, then had to lay back down. Jared thought about shooting him, but we can't do that to our boys. Cody would never forgive us for that. It would be so much worse then to just let him die. This colic started hitting him again about 2 days ago. I noticed he was laying down more out in their pen. Then more yesterday. And most of the day today. I knew he'd gotten it again. Dang colic!!!!! Horses are so delicate. It seems once they get this, they never fully recover and they always fight it until it takes them. It's been almost 2 months since he got it the first time real bad. We worked with him so much, had the vet coming out twice a day, and finally got his fever to break. He really started doing better. Was putting weight on. Getting his personality back, and now this. Ugh.
I'm sorry to complain. I know we should count our blessings that we could have this horse as long as we did. Been at least 6 or 7 years. He's the best horse Jared's ever owned. It never fails. The best horses always die early.
And I'm thankful to have known our cute neighbor Frank. I'm really going to miss him. He was a great guy. Always made me smile. And he taught me you don't have to have everything in life to be happy. Just do what you love, be with those you love, and that's enough. I just wish I could have visited him more this last month, with him going downhill, to let him know how much he meant to us. But as luck would have it, having walking pneumonia and then the flu, kept me from doing that. I am thankful I could see him last Friday though. Even for a minute. Just to tell him "Hi".
I'm going to end this depressing post. With it being New Year's Eve tomorrow, I need some sleep. I can't wait for these holidays to be over. For all the parties, and stress, and craziness to be over. At least I got Christmas put away today. That lifted my spirits more.